The Hangover

I woke up this morning in jail, with a huge headache, and no idea how I got there! I sit here and try and remember what happened last night, but I have absolutely no clue! As I look down at my clothes and shoes, I vaguely remember getting ready to go out the night before, but one thing I know for sure is my shoes weren't as dirty as they are now, and I didn't have a rip in the knee of my jeans. I reach into my jeans pocket to try and find a clue to what happened the night before, and pull out a receipt that shows I purchased several rolls of toilet paper, Vaseline, plastic wrap, and beer. Now I start to remember! I picked up 3 of my closest friends for a girls night out. We decided we wanted to do something we hadn't done since high school, and we all agreed toilet papering someones house would be just the thing to do. But of course, when we did it in high school it didn't include drinking a case of beer in the process, and when you add beer to anything, it tends to get a little out of hand! After we picked up our supplies I recall driving back to my house to start drinking the beers, and to decide who our victim was going to be. That explains why I found a house key in my pocket with the store receipt. I must have used the key hidden by the back door to get into the house, and stuck it in my pocket instead of back where I found it. That's when we started drinking beer, and talking about where we were going, and when my memory started to fade. So, to try and find more clues I reach into my pocket again and find a mint, which I really need right now because my mouth feels like an empty beer can. Then I reach into my pocket again, and the last two items are a ten dollar bill, and a receipt from one of the bars uptown. I look at the receipt and more of the evening comes back to me. After we left my house we went to the house we intended to use our supplies on. When we got there, there were lights on in the house so we got the brilliant idea to head to the bar and wait until we knew everyone would be asleep. Of course when we get to the bar, we decide we all need more liquid encouragement, so I order tequila shots for all of us, and start a tab, what a mistake! According to the receipt, we each must have had four shots, so on top of all the beer we drank we were all feeling pretty good. So by one in the morning we decided it was safe to carry on with our plan. I paid for the tab, and received the ten dollars in cash back, and off we went. Now, let me remind you, we had all had a lot to drink, and we were laughing pretty loudly and making allot of noise. We get to the house, and try desperately to quiet ourselves, but this just isn't working. We start out throwing the toilet paper, someone was over wrapping one of the cars in the driveway with the plastic wrap, and someone else was putting Vaseline on all of the door nobs. That's when things went bad! We were all making so much noise and giggling, we never heard the cop car pull up, and didn't know they were there until they turned on their lights! We were all so drunk we couldn't move, like a deer in the headlights. Needless to say this was the start of our night in jail, the cops got the four of us in cuffs and took us to the police station and charged us with disorderly conduct. So here I sit, thinking about what happened last night, now that I remember, and you know what? I don't regret one moment of what happened!